Lost in the Shuffle

Doors open.....people walk through......doors shut.....and im the only one left in the spacious hallway....even sound has left me......vacancy takes over my soul......theres no station to go and fill up what is empty........the bell rings and another set of groups walk in chatting, laughing, discussing a foreign word....LIFE....the doors open up again...I try to take a peep at their destination, but my eyes are suddenly blind........why can't i see where they are going?....is it because I know nothing of life?....I know neither life or death......time is motionless for me...the legs and arms of action have been amputated......once circulating thoughts are now stagnant....no longer am I left to wonder about being left to wonder... a sad state I am in....lost in the shuffle

somthin i came up with today....

when i was up in my apartment no food no rent

and i had no cash only dreams to spend

i knew my roomates couldnt stand me

i felt like a kid rocking hand me downs knowing one day stacks of bills they would hand me

but they aint fan me

so i was hot at the world ,my girl ,and everyone in my family

they was like oh we miss him....but i had no relief like a katrina victim

so i promised to myself i would katrina stick them

cause it was forget me forget him we will let fema get him

but what didnt kill me made me stronger

longing for a shot just made my time longer

till it came out the barrell of the burner

i became a gunner with a go get attitude....a runner

no vacations in the summer

cause to vacate the only thing that i had which was college

showed no solution so i had a problem

and niggas tried to hammer me with words so like nails i said screw em

imma treat em like nike airs and just do em

so while they was limping like isaiah

i was the only knick in the game that was ewing

The Pull

The steps to the Pavement are not hard to retreat to

Cause when school is in session I gain somthing they cant Teach you

no Rocks no Keys

But like Clinton they try to impeach you

From the office of Hope some way they try to reach you

Take 10 steps to go back 20

My words flow to the sky but then it comes back to me

Igniting a Fire....but its not a flame that should fuse me

There are many Clouds so when it rains its so confusing

I cant even see who launches the attack

As I get blown from this coldesac....to a Dead END. they qoute on that

Im another number for their stats

Cuffs "CLICK CLACK" because it just clicked that I have to stay strapped

The hood got its own mafia and I'm not tryna get whacked

But there no way out I cant rap because I'm wack

Worlds on my back from my mom talking that

I should go to the track....to traffic that smack

I try to hint that I would rather not be reavealed to that

But reality Reveals to me that thats where it is AT

I could go to college to be educated in the books

But all I've been reading is court dates being Booked

constant Strain and Struggle

Pain and Scuffles in the mind

I dont know what to rebuttle

John Doe

I've seen this road so many times before.... the ladder that was presented for me to walk up was floored..... there I was on the floor on the forefront of greatness....and in the back of my mind it was stored....somthing that I couldn't quite put a name to.....but not ordinary like john doe....it was a life that I was already ordained to.....it was sort of like a kid who family buisness is a fortune 500......but my family was fortunate enough to have at least a hundred..... dreams stuctured on a high rise so what i build could get me far......shoot I see the stars in the tv screen....so I make these wishes that go God make me large....cause all I wanna do is touch the sky and be a star....at least 10 feet off the ground i will get that far....I know it's not that hard..... I just want to get my point across to the world so I can pass it to the right drive that will steer me..... but clearly.....everybody else doesn't want me to put on a pair of tires and travel down this road to make my future higher..... cops want to cell me up........wrap me behind the bars.......... so I can rap bars.........every guards in the jail favorite imprisoned rap star...... so they can rap to me....."when you get out you'll get that far until you commit another crime I know it aint that hard"....... another quota for there qoute that goes "back again...I knew you would be"...... the girlfriend tries to tie me up with an emotional connection that unplugs me from my profession...... her touch her words her love .......mean nothing to the degree....of me tyring to get a degree......we go to different schools....I'm outta of the state and she's in LA UC and the fact that she doesn't see me......she wants me at a CC..... she says if I leave my face you will never see..... I say I see a better future for us that's lifts us over the sea...and she told me "well you can see all that but you can't see me......I dnt kno why you go to school you'll never get that far.....frontin like it aint that hard".......so here I am broken dreams because I will never get that far..........and to go back to the hood isn't that hard.....I mean honestly I'm acting like i can get that car......and I see that my girlfreind hasn't gotten that far........and the cops on my block isn't that far.......a distance not to short like that cloud from that star.........but my pops say that I'm looking at it with the wrong sight.......its farther than what I see but its closer than what I think.......which means I'm closer to fulfilling what people see about me because I'm farther from my dream cause I listen to what they think

signed john doe a.k.a the average brother in america

The Downfall

So many sweet dreams have poured sugar down the girl.....sticks of the cane stick....highly addicted to the pearls....she swallowed whats inside the herbal tea is in a swirl.....spiraling down the case.....the stairs of the world.....she gets stares from the world....she stares at the mirror the reflection stares back what they have is intact....but she is out of contact to the life she used to fish....she's now not given the life she used to live.....so that life she used to live she doesn't get back to the roots....so she is cut into a hollywood scoop that they are proofing to dish......expressive thoughts that go " she is losing her way, the song that she sung doesnt exist any more" from her freinds who think that she thinks this negative is cupid......repetitive acts of the bad is what she is now couped with......even though the roots are unescapable she would rather go toothless.........

The Love.......The Downfall

The Love

she had one of them long faces....that said my soul aching..... because they idol me like aiken..... 400 dollar ticket..... a stack for the hotel..... and all is well but she aint ready for the placement.....cause she been having fun round here.....she missed over the seas....but would with rather run out here....she dont really wanna go there it stays on her mind here comes her go out tear.... attached to her is the smell of the air....sounds of the city and the breeze on her hair...they asked her do she get scared... she say naw..... like I know God take care each and everyone of yall.....then why u cry....and she simply said cause I cnt be everywhere in the world like God.... but this is my job....this my note....this is my song

The Question

why is it that dying is most feared....but the easiest to do?.....why is it that life is the most sought after.....but the hardest to tackle?......and why is it that when life is handed it to you ........everyone wants a clear path to run.....leap.....jump.....towards success....without letting the thought of man I wish life was so easy die?....... do you notice how actors put on a great show for the audience?....I'm mean really....they sweat.....speak loudly into crowd......do things that are out of their normal everyday life....play different roles.......laugh....cry.....worry about there level of energy.....stress the fact that this has to be the best play ever put on in the history of mankind.....all to do nothing but take an easy exit off the stage.......and you know what the crowds says?....man what a great play.......do you know what they said about malcom x?.....man what a great mind....do you know what they said about ghandi?....man what a great leader....do you know what they said about bill gates?.....man what a great nerd.....what will they say about those who did it the easy way?.....man I don't remember....or what about those who tried so desperately to take the easy route but made the road ahead so hard for themsleves?.......man what a waste of a possible gift that could have been obtained....question your work ethic....dnt leave your legacy a question